illusions
Wednesday, May 16
8:31 PM
time for a change of placeee.
http://shotdrapedloose.livejournal.com
goodbye blogger.
you've been great therefore you'll be kept here, just stagnant. hah.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Monday, May 14
11:26 PM
sweet surrender
town with lilia.
how i wish we were not in school uniform, that would mean more trying on of clothes.
we were bored but somehow managed to entertain ourselves.
its funny how we laugh at the ghost stories she told, then somemore laughter when she trips a few times.
i swear my dad is being so..erh..nice.
stop lying to yourself chow.
oh yes, half our june hols are gone.
first two weeks of hols will be lessons in school instead.
rahh.
seriously, they talk about how o's the last stretch we have to chiong for,
but its so not true.
the moment we finish o's, we get to have a break and then we start studying all over again.
its the worst cycle ever, but thats the only way to survive in singapore, unfortunately.
maybe i should become a full time beggar since i've got no brains or anything.
great, my mum is being so damn nice too.
ya right.
i think i'm too tired to make any sense here.
stupid chinese intensive killed the pathetic number of brain cells i have.
go chow.
time for work.
BYE.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Sunday, May 13
10:44 PM
yes. happy mamas' day.know what, my mum bought the cake. -.-
yes, lousy daughter she has.
look below, we sat down at the basketball court and started eating.
4 of us digging in, 4 different ways of eating.
poor cake looked like shit. i was the fastest to eat, with my fingers!
i think i laughed too much just now. watched my 3 aunties play ball with my mum.
thats like 4 aunties all together. i think they'll make better rugby players.
alright. say hi to mr doocula. my small lil friend.
why dad, you make me feel useless.
bye.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Something about the way
You look tonight
Something about the way
That I can't take my eyes off you
Something about the way
Your lips invite
Maybe it's the way that
I get nervous when you're around
and I want you to be mine
And if you need a reason why
It's in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way that I want you tonight
It's in the way that you hold me
And the way that you know me
When I can't find the right words to say
You feel it in the way
Oh you feel it in the way
Something about how
You stay on my mind
Something about the way that
I whisper your name when I'm asleep
Oh girl
Maybe it's the look
You get in your eyes
Oh baby it's the way that
It makes me feel to
See you smile
And the reasons they may change
But what I'm feeling stays the same
I can't put my fingers on
Just what it is that
Makes me love you, you baby
So don't ask me to describe
I get all choked up inside
Just thinkin bout the way
It's in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way that I want you tonight
It's in the way that you hold me
And the way that you know me
When I can't find the right words to say
It's in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way
Feel it in the way
Something about the way you look tonight
There's nothing more to say than
I feel it in the way
i like songs that i will never get sick of even after hearing it one thousand times.
my dad is so ridiculous now.
but maybe, everything i do is just wrong.
you be love and i'll be a liar
please don't mind my disgusting face over there.
just take a look at my dear friend who slim down so much that i almost couldn't recognise her.
anyhow, met up with juniors to ball for awhile.
played with one of our ex ex ex seniors, surprisingly she still remembers me. haha.
left for lunch at subway with sam. the rest pungseh-ed us for macs. -.-
MET JOAN CHEONG, like finally, after more than half a yr of not seeing her.
i miss her like shit.
you know whats so amazing, we spent the whole day together and talk as if we see each other everyday. no awkwardness or anything. love her to bits please.
she used to be my buddy but now she's lost so much weight and become so much prettier.
i seriously got freaked out because of how skinny she is now
went to tp gym with her and then to town.
we got so bored we started trying on clothes.
i feel so short beside her.
i bumped into so many people today.
its like meet the people session. haha.
lousy deb and stace couldn't make it to meet us.
lets see..i met tricia and the ex ex ex senior, i just can't remember her name. heh.
and then ms lim and ms yap. talked for awhile, quite weird. hah.
and ms dianne koh who shouted my name from nowhere.
plus some ex ij girls i saw.
and i think i saw meryl, but she couldn't recognise me.
got home and next went out like after 15 minutes. -.-
tired. visited my grandpa and went to j8.
my mum bought that fitness boxing shit, so fun. hahaha.
i miss some retarded who wants to rob the bank with me.
still, i think i am the happiest one alive.
alright. tired tired.
nights!
you be love and i'll be a liar
Thursday, May 10
4:40 PM
all the fun, retardedness, joy, peace and laughter for the past few weeks, or perhaps, months.
my cutest birthday cakes and craziest friends..(i love the hangman shit. hangman became flowers and cloud. lilia!)
i think the only thing i'm missing now is time with the lovely basketballers.
if anyone notice it, i don't even have pictures of the basketballers here.
i think bonding time is needed please.
i'm missing all the ij basketballers.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Ridin in the drop top with the top down
Saw you switchin lanes (girl)
Pull up to the red light lookin right
Come on let me get your name (girl)
Tell me where your from, what you do, what you like
Let me pick your brain (girl)
And tell me how they that got that pretty little face
On that pretty little frame (girl)
But let me show you round, let me take you out
Betcha we can have some fun (girl)
Cause we can it do fast fast slow
Which ever way you wanna run (girl)
But let me buy you drinks better yet rings
Do it how you want it done (girl)
And who woulda thought that you could be the one cause I...
I can't wait to fall in love with you
You can't wait to fall in love with me
This just can't be summer love you'll see
This just can't be summer love (L-O-V-E)
Come on and let me show you round, let me take you out
Betcha we can have some fun (girl)
Cause you could dress it up, you could dress it down
Any way you want it done (girl)
Or we can stay home talkin on the phone
Rappin till we see the sun (girl)
Do what I gotta do, just gotta show you
That I'm the one (girl)
Well I'ma freak ya right each and every night
I know how to do it insane (girl)
Cause I can make ya hot make ya stop
Make ya wanna say my name (girl)
Come on baby please cause I'm on my knees
Can't get you off my brain (girl)
But who woulda thought that you could be the one cause I..
Summer's over for the both of us (summer's over)
But that doesn't mean we should give up on us (don't give up)
You're the one that I've been thinkin' of (you're the one)
And I knew the day I met you you'd be the one
Let me set the mood right
Cause I'm gonna make you feel alright
Let me set the mood right
Cause I'm gonna make you feel alright
I gotta set the mood right
Let me make you feel alright
I'm gonna set the mood alright
I promise baby, feel alright
Just let me set the mood right
Let me make you feel alright
Cause I'm gonna set the mood right
Then you'll say my name time tonight
If I see the mood right
Promise girl you'll feel alright
If you let me set the mood right
I'll make you feel so good tonight
summer love/set the mood
hot song.
i'm a letdown of all times,
don't place your hopes too high.
i ought to be shot dead.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Wednesday, May 9
7:03 PM
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you you to know girl.
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
I don’t want to run away, I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..
No promises
I don’t wanna run away, I don’t wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love
No promises
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
nostalgic.
i can't believe i still need to wake up tml and crap my way through 2hrs of f&n,
even after passing up the letter to drop the subject.
its okay, i'll most probably sleep through atleast an hr.
made my way to nyp to play ball with guan and her friends.
felt weird being there at first.
it was raining and thank god it stopped.
balled in the weird weather and i think am having flu now.
its been long since i last played ball, totally lost touch with it.
went home and first thing was to sleep.
was so damn tired i couldnt be bothered to do anything.
got some moron to wake me up and i still feel like sleeping.
great, i feel like sleeping now too.
enough.
i should make my brother study.
if i can get him off the tv i'll get 20bucks.
great deal.
off to do business. 20buckksssss.
i need to rob a bank soon btw.
=/
hopefully my mum's not a liar. hah.
byeee.
what's your fantasy?
you be love and i'll be a liar
Tuesday, May 8
3:06 PM
like slow spinning redemption.
spiderman broke box office record.
its already the 8th and i haven't watch it yet.
actually, i'm lazy.
seriously, studying makes me lazy.
i can just study the whole day and do nothing else.
therefore you can see the perfect outcome of my room.
its worse than messy.
stace suggested tanning.
yes, i need to tan myself.
i'm like..white. yuck.
i need some outdoor activity before i die of obesity.
DON'T LAUGH.
okay.
i can hear my physics book calling.
byeeee.
i have to admit, i am nowhere near invincible.
but i think i can strum till these strings hang loose.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Well, when you go
Don't ever think
I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way
And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"
Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay
And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"
Well come on, come on
When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"
I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday
i love this song. any kind soul would like to send me that song?
haha.
i swear people like lilia makes me feel stupid.
yes, i am a loser. ugh.
i can't wait to take physics paper.
then i'll know how screwed my science result is gonna be.
i mean, i will then know how screwed my whole mid year is gonna be.
okay. moving on..
i still think she is damn cute. haha.
enough. time to play games. nights!
you be love and i'll be a liar
Saturday, May 5
11:59 PM
in places no one will find.
Mi amor I'm not sure of the right words to say
Maybe these simple words will do best to best explain
What I feel in my heart, what I feel more each day
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to see how to say
How I love you so
With words you understand
Words that get right through to your heart
Here's a place to start
Tu amor
I will always be
Tu amor
Means the world to me
Estarás siempre en mi corazón
You're the one in my soul
And I live for
Tu amor
Mi amor, love you more with each look in your eyes
Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe
What I feel in my heart, what I'll feel for all time oh
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to see how to say
How I need you so
With words you understand
Words that get right through to your soul
Words that let you know
Tu amor (tu amor)
I will always be
Tu amor (tu amor)
Means the world to me
Estarás siempre en mi corazón
You're the one in my soul
And I live for
Tu amor (tu amor)
You're the one I need in my arms
Believe me these words I say
Are words that come straight from my heart
How do I make you believe
Nothing else means as much
As what you mean to me
Tu eres la unica en mi alma
Yo te quiero
Te adoro
Tus labios
Tus ojos
Mi amor
rahh.
i got pissed waiting for stace to get ready to meet me.
i get piss really easy lately. god knows why.
she was late and yanpeng came to rescue me.
i saw mrs tan at fareast. i literally ran away upon seeing her.
she's like the last few people i expect to see there.
anyway, now i know why yp is broke all the time.
she spends money as if they drop from the sky.
the way she drags me into every shop and say everything is nice and expects me to get them..
i got so worried for my wallet.
but then again, i spent money in the weirdest way today.
retail therapy didn't work, strange.
met up with rach, jo, guan, grace with stace
was in town but went to amk and happily dragged them along with me
walked around and all.
i'm freaking tired.
nights.
=)
Do I really want this?
Sometimes I scare myself
I just can't let it go
Can you believe it
Everything happens for reasons
I just don't know
you be love and i'll be a liar
Friday, May 4
8:31 PM
take what's left of me.
got home and went straight to bed.
i know i suck, especially when my mum asked me to help her do housework but i kind of ignored it.
but it sucks even more when i just don't want to face anyone,
so the best was to sleep.
and now i'm home alone.
i'm not trying to say i'm any bit normal but i think the human head and heart has such queer reactions and thoughts.
i just feel like staying away from everyone and be in a world of my own,
since i suppose that is the safest place.
i've always been scared of people.
its as if i feel that they want something out of me,
expecting something from me,
i don't know what but perhaps its just being paranoid.
but i hate facing people and their childish games.
i think i sound like some i-think-the-world-suck-and-i-think-i-am-the-coolest asshole.
don't expect anything from me,
cause you'll realise there's nothing in me.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Thursday, May 3
9:46 PM
everyone else but me
I said lets talk about it as she walked out on me and slammed the door
But I just laugh about it 'cause she's always playin' those games...
Deep down I know she loves me, but she got a funny way of showin' me how she cares
Last night she did a doughnut on my lawn
and drove off with one finger in the air
Sometimes it's black, sometimes it's white,
Sometimes she's wrong, sometimes I'm right,
Sometimes we talk about it and we figure it out,
but then she'll just change her mind
Sometimes she's hot, sometimes I'm cold
Sometimes my head wants to explode, but when I think about it,
I'm so in love with her
Every other time
every other time
Sometimes we sit around just the two of us on a park bench
Sometimes we swim around like two dolphins in the ocean of our hearts
But then I think about the time when we broke up before the prom
and you told everyone that I was gay...ok
Sometimes I walk around the town for hours just to settle down
but I take you back and you kick me down
'Cause that's the way uh-huh uh-huh I like it.
Keep it up homegirl don't you quit
You know the way you scream is the ultimate
And when I walk away just watch the clock
I bet I don't even get around the block
I said let's talk about it as she walked out on me and slammed the door
One day we'll laugh about it, 'cause we're always playin' those games
i miss this song.
stuyding has become the biggest part of my life already.
its sad, its only the mid years.
i just want to lie on my bed and do nothing,
together with blasting music.
i don't know how.
i hate playing games with myself.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Wednesday, May 2
9:22 PM
We watch the season pull up its own stakes,
And catch the last weekend of the last week,
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced.
Another sun soaked season fades away.
You have stolen my heart.
You have stolen my heart.
Invitation only grand farewells.
Crash the best one, of the best ones.
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight.
You have stolen my heart.
You have stolen my heart.
And from the bar room floor we are a celebration.
One good stretch before our hibernation.
Our dreams assured and we all will sleep well, sleep well.
Sleep well, sleep well, sleep well.
You have stolen,
You have stolen,
You have stolen my heart.
I watch you spin around in your highest heels.
You are the best one, of the best ones.
We all look like we feel.
You have stolen my,
You have stolen my,
You have stolen my heart.
i'm gonna sound a bit psycho now.
must be the migraine that comes on and off which scares me quite abit.
oh yes, just when everyone's studying for paper tml,
i was happily at tampines with a moron, just because of a dare.
the whole trip was just..retarded. haha.
i feel psychotic now.
its like when i shut my eyes, i can feel everything disappearing.
everything is so
i think way too much.
just looking at that one thing, i can think of every single thing that can happen if i do this or do that.
what the fuck.
i know i will get nowhere.
but it is so not within me to decide how this whole storyline goes.
see, i can't.
its things like this that repeats and repeats that gets me really worn out,
but i can never stop it from happening.
i finally admit defeat.
i can never find something that is fair in this world.
alright, maybe God is just being unfair to me, most of the time.
i don't know, its always either this or that and i so hate deciding,
and i can never leave things alone. damn.
seriously, i wish i can type word for word, everything i feel inside right now,
but i can't, don't ask.
i think my whirlpool state of mind is driving me nuts.
time for some studying, hopefully.
bye.
watch my first pretence.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Tuesday, May 1
1:46 PM
You're a falling star
You're the getaway car
You're the line in the sand
When I go to far
You're the swimming pool
On an august day
And you're the perfect thing to say
And you play it coy but it's kinda cute
Oh when you smile at me you know exactly what you do
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true
Cause you can see it when I look at you
And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you
It's you
You make me sing
You're every line
You're every word
You're everything
You're a carousel
You're a wishing well
And you light me up
When you ring my bell
You're a mystery
You're from outer space
You're every minute of my every day
And I can't believe that I'm your man
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can
Whatever comes our way
We'll see it through
And you know that's what our love can do
And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you
It's you
You make me sing
You're every line
You're every word
You're everything
You're every song
And I sing along
Cause you're my everything
Yeah, yeah
i think michael buble looks funny.
anyhow,
a small break before i head on to spend time with my bio book.
lately, i've realised how it is such a bliss to be lying on my bed and doing nothing.
everytime i study, i see my bed next to me and its becoming a big distraction.
i hate cooping myself up in a room just to face those horrible books that doesnt make me any smarter.
oh yes. i was just reading stace's blog and its making my hair stand.
hello, i so wonder when i can ever post something nicer like hers. hahahahaha.
i feel like playing ball nooww.
think i lost touch with it already.
its been so long since we had training and i'm already growing fatter by the day.
i miss jiaolian. =/
enough. i think i should go back to my lovely bio books.
byeeee.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Monday, April 30
8:31 PM
rawrrs.
can't you tell, i'm so missing you.
i swear i am going crazy.
you be love and i'll be a liar
the way that i want you tonight
i'm panadol dependant now.
never knew migraine was such a torture.
god knows what i was doing in school anyway after vomiting like 4 times in the morning.
i will die if it goes on till wednesday,
the ss and bio paper day.
i feel so weak please.
its hard to even walk from my room to the toilet. hah.
if only i can have the wheelchair just for a day.
can't wait to watch spiderman3.
the black spiderman looks cool.
4th of may!
alright. i seriously need to get back to SS (sanity killer)
bio makes so much more sense than SS in any other way.
funny how they want us to know how they prevented the rapidly growing population in the 1960s and then suddenly they want us to know how they had to stop the ageing population and encouraged people to give birth.
why we even need to know?
god, this whole subject is disgusting.
goodbye.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Sunday, April 29
12:33 AM
i can be your favourite.
its been two weeks of not seeing those bunch of kids at bishan.
i'm missing them already, especially boyfriend daniel and boyfriend javen.
can't believe i don't need to wake up early on saturday mornings anymore.
oh yes. i seriously wonder if i am just getting old or i may have a tumor somewhere in my body.
a slight cough, sneeze or even laughing causes a weird pain in my back.
its not even any bit close to my chest.
someone tell me what it is cause i can't exactly laugh and cough properly now.
=/
on a brighter note, i am beginning to think studying makes me feel good.
well, besides doing f&n and trying to do maths cause they drive the sanity out of me.
i have no hope of passing maths at all. this is sad.
met chloe and bonnie at j8's mos while i was wondering around, waiting for alicia.
they're two mad people i tell you.
laughing at god knows what.
and i feel like eating doughnuts now.
get me one somebody. haha.
man i remember having something else to blog but thanks to stacey pestana, i lost my train of thoughts and ended up laughing at SOMETHING.
tsktsk.
i'm freaking tired and lazy now.
blah.
nights.
you be love and i'll be a liar
Thursday, April 26
9:15 PM
i stay wrecked and jealous for this
i'm totally drained.
got home at 8 from tuition.
and i figured i've been gorging myself with food for the past three weeks,
no thanks to all the stress and whatever thats there and staying put.
maybe a few months down the road no one will be able to recognize me already.
hah.
i feel so lethargic.
note to self: you have to finish your f&n by today.
=/
oh yes, mike had a staring fight with this guy when we were at kfc.
weird cause the two guys next to us couldnt stop staring at us.
and we figured they might be gay.
i think if we were not in school uniform, mike would have punched him cause the way he stared was just so ridiculous.
screw me.
*bangs head on the wall*
goodnight.
you be love and i'll be a liar
